Do you argue in front of your kids? Do you compromise in front of them? How about demonstrating “PDA”…(our kids call this “Parental Display of Affection!” And We love it!! Lol!) How do your kids see your marriage?
Why am I asking this? Well, it’s simple really and so very important! Let’s start with the first question…
Do you argue in front of your kids? Now, I’m not talking about disagreements about raising your kids or the “knock down drag out” really heated kind of arguing, although it could get heated at times, but I’m talking about just everyday pet peeve type disagreements. If you don’t, do they think Mom & Dad have the “perfect” marriage? They very well might. So what’s so wrong with that?
By not ever arguing or disagreeing in front of your kids and them thinking their Mom & Dad have the “perfect” marriage you are giving them a false example of what real marriage looks like. It may seem like it’s great for them right now, but what happens when they come to the age to have their own relationships and marriage? If they don’t agree with everything their partner has to say, and we all know that they won’t, are they going to want to run for the hills because this isn’t what they think relationships/marriage are supposed to be like? It absolutely does happen that way many times. I believe this to be one of the many reasons our divorce rate is so very high today.
Do you let your kids see you and your hubby compromise on things? The both of you sacrificing for the other from time to time and coming to an agreed place in the middle to meet, when you can’t see eye to eye. This is huge! If they don’t see this happening from us, their biggest Marriage influencers, then how are their own marriages going to be?
How about being affectionate to one another? Do you gross them out by being all “lovey dovey” in front of them? You know, that “parental display of affection” towards one another. Well if you’re not, you should be! Of course they are going to be like, “ewwwww, that’s gross! Stop!!!” But deep down inside they really love seeing this side of you two! It shows them that their parents are still in love!
It’s never too early to start teaching our children about how relationships and marriages are supposed to be. The biggest part to that statement is that, whether or not you think you are teaching them about it….you definetly are. They are watching everything we do from the time they are born all the way up!
Don’t be afraid to Argue/Disagree in front of your kids. You are not going to be hurting them with this, you’re helping them! Now again, I’m not talking about issues that they don’t need to be hearing about or those really ugly hurtful fights that we all sometimes have, check out this article on “How To Fight in Front of the Kids” by parents.com. for some of those issues that you just should NOT be discussing in front of your kids. But, come on….we ALL have those little things that we just don’t agree on. Don’t hide that from them! Let them see you disagree about certain things. Let them see you compromise on things and how the two of you find a middle ground to agree on. This will teach them how to work out issues in their own relationships later on. Hug each other, kiss each other, sit in your hubby’s lap, dance with him….and most importantly, do it all in front of your kids!!! Until next time, “Go be the “spiced up wife” in your hubby’s life!”